Varudu - My Review

     Ok, someone please hand me a glass of water. Nah..I am not thristy..I just need to splash some on my face to wake myself up! I am just back from watching “Varudu”, the latest Allu Arjun flick. If you are someone who has seen Arya, Deshamuduru etc, stick around. If you haven’t seen a telugu movie in your life, you are better off not reading this. Just go away.

    Yeah, for the folks who are still here, welcome! Read this and save your money. Better still, save yourself some really nasty torture in the form of “Varudu”, the much hyped saga about a 5-day Telugu wedding that has Allu Arjun gesturing and behaving like a shy brides. Ok, yeah, like most of the people who made it to the theatres, i fell for the posters! Now , when you see a six pack guy, dressed in wedding regalia, complete with a garland in hand, shyly stealing sideward glances towards his bride ( the heroine, whose identity was kept secret until the movie released), you are bound to wonder what it is that makes a macho man go all jelly kneed. And yes, there is another trap too! The trailer promises to treat you to a visual delight by showcasing the traditional 5-day telugu wedding in all it’s grandeur. I am a sucker for wedding rituals! I am the kind who can sit through a traditional 6 hour wedding, doing nothing but watching the rituals. So when a movie promises to show all that and more, you can be sure I will watch it. Girly I know, but what the heck!

      Anyway, using the last remaining bit of the long weekend, I made it to watch “Varudu”. And God, do I regret it or what! The movie is the usual Allu Arjun fare, baring his torso, and wearing pants that make his thighs stick out like giant jelly blobs and of course he has to dance to tunes like a madman. I love this guy ok! Give me his Arya and I can sit and watch it over and over again for an entire day! But this Varudu movie just does not work for him. He takes this “ I will see my bride only on my wedding day” thing too far and stretches it beyond imagination. Now, it would be unfair to say that there are no good moments in the movie at all. As a brand ambassador for the Great Indian Arrange Marriage, when a punk like Arjun Allu professes the virtues of an arranged marriage, asks his parents to find the bride for him and blah blah, there is a teeny weeny bit of me that says “ Ok, yeah, so I am not the only loser who is gonna settle for an arranged marriage”. Also, there is a little dhak-dhak happening when the bride and the groom see each other. But after that initial surge, the movie is a total let down! To sum the rest of the movie, it’s a lot of “Allu Arjun yelling at the villain”, “ Villian delivering loooong dialogues”, some overtly dramatic fights and yes, oh yes, before I forget, there is a liplock. Yes! A liplock in a telugu movie ;) But I must admit, the hero and heroine make the whole thing look so awkward that it’s easier to sit and watch a open heart surgery video than sit through the unnatural, “should-we-do-it-should-we-not” dilemma filled liplock scene :P

       The cinematography is good,music is forgettable except for the title track, which is quite nice on the ears, comedy is non-existent, action is nice and the marriage sequence, though supposed to be the theme of the movie, is all done and finish in a single song :-| But I must admit, whatever they showed of the marriage was really good. You can credit some of that praise to my girly instincts, but really, I think the money I spent on Varudu was just for this song and sequence.

      Allu Arjun, boy, seriously, get over it as soon as you can and go back to what you do best! This shy bridegroom with dreamy eyes thing is seriously not your cup of tea. Since I like you, I will try and save your ass and pass a little blame on the heroine, who I am sure was not inspiration enough for you to act well :-P To see seasoned actors like Suhasini and Brahmanadam being used in “blink-it-and-you-will-miss-it” roles is really sad!

      All in all, this movie is a fantastic idea, all gone wrong! It had all the ingridients to make a tasty meal, but I think too many ideas in the director’s head spoilt the broth, just like the proverbial too many cooks! And a subject that could have very well been the next Tollywood sensation, sadly ends up in the trash can as garbage. And garbage well spent on! I am sure they made good the money they spent on the movie in the first week. Every Gult Uncle,Aunty,Bunty,Babli,Laila,Majnu worth their salt, made a beeline to the movie halls! Sadly, they snored and came back! Allu, please go back to being Arya!

     There! I have successfully saved you some money and better still, some really boring torture in the form of Varudu...What happened to your good manners?! Say thanks!