I have been meaning to write this post for sometime now. But then something else comes up and the idea of writing goes out of the window. I just got back from the voting booth after having casted my vote for the Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara Paalike elections ( BBMP) elections. Since my blog hits indicate that people who read my blogs( not that there are many ;)) are mostly from Bangalore i will not take the trouble of explaining what the heck BBMP is. For the uninitiated, to sum it up in a line, let’s say BBMP elections are for selecting the guy who will work at getting the roads in your area tarred, the drains cleaned and makes sure that you dog has a safe place to walk and play in. Yeah, so you get the drift right? Ok, moving on! This post has nothing to do with BBMP or Bangalore or Elections. This post is about a disorder. :-|
I have always lived life ahead of my time. Ok, I just realized that this sentence does not make too much sense, but i will just let it be, for the reason that it sounds vaguely profound to me :-P. Yeah, what i mean by saying that I live my life ahead of my time, is that I have always been preposterous. I outgrew the “I love Barbie” age even before i could get into school, at kindergarten, I was one of the kids who thought that going to school to learn ABC was dumb, in my 3rd grade I used to spend my days thinking “ Ok, so when are they gonna teach us about photosynthesis?” and in high school I used to think I was not fit for school anymore. I looked forward to getting into college, wearing clothes other than your uniform, bunking classes and of course, escaping the torture that my Malayalam-speaking-Hindi teacher used to inflict on us.
Stuff like this normally happens when you have an older sibling. As a kid, I used to watch my elder sister go about her day, doing the stuff that kids her age are supposed to do. When you are young, there is this undying urge to grow older. And you always fantasize about your life as an older person. So when I saw my elder sister studying chemistry, rattling off cool words like potassium permanganate, I would quickly learn it myself so that I could somehow use it in a conversation at school and freak out the kids in my class with my knowledge about long, complicated words :-P
And this fascination for behaving older than I actually am, continued to stay with me even when I was older. So very early in life, I was thinking about things that were not really necessary for kids my age. So all through my life, most people have opined that I am too mature for my age. So much so, that right now, I have begun to feel that I think like an old granny! :-|
Now all this is cool for a while. But when this becomes a routine in your life, it can be quite dangerous. At 12, when you start thinking and behaving like a 15 year old, the problem is that when you are actually 15, you will be bored and lost, because everything you think about or do brings about that feeling of “ Been there, done that”. Deja vu.
So, this year, while I tick off my 25th year on earth, I feel like I have already lived a million years. In my head that is :-P So much so, that I started having Quarter Life Crisis pangs when I was 22. Its utter crazy!
“You just need to slow down man” one of my older friends told me, when I explained this condition to him. “Just stop thinking and start living” he said. I took that advice. Not because it made sense to me, but because, it sounded like a good line to use on someone. :-D
Anyway, I have made up my mind to stop thinking too much. To just lie back and relax and live life on slow motion. To hell with Quarter Life Crisis. “It’s an overhyped illusion” I convinced myself.
If I continue to be the way I am, by the time I am old enough to be an actual granny, what will I behave like? Err, what’s the next stage of old age?Maybe my grandkids will go around telling their friends “Hey guess what man! My grandmom acts like she is already dead :-| ”
Thereby, keeping the far far future in mind, I hereby declare that I will try and act my age from now on! I begin by accepting the fact that it’s really cool being 25! :) ( Oh damn! This is difficult...) All izz well!!