Monday, April 12, 2010

The latest Indo-Pak Alliance : Sania the silly girl weds Shoaib the stupid boy

    I have been literally holding myself back from writing about the Sania-Shoaib fiasco. But considering the fact that I once had the hots for Shoaib ( I was in high school when he debuted ), I owe him a post. So inspite of being well aware of the fact that this post is gonna be about the most beaten to death subject in this part of the world, I will still write. There is just way too much drama happening in it, so there is always a little something for everyone to write/talk about ;)
     It’s all over the papers, the television and the 24hr news channels are having a ball of a time showing zoom-ins of Sania standing in the balcony of her villa with Shoaib. What’s so great about it I wonder! Some Islamic body has slapped a fatwa on the couple for being un-Islamic and living together before being married! Duhh…What did they expect? That they would live apart and see each other only on the wedding day? That is Allu Arjun’s way of doing it buddy ( remember Varudu?). Our Miss Sania Mirza has created enough news to last her a lifetime. Just a few years back, the only news I heard about Sania was her tennis. Now it’s all about her “court”-ship! But seriously..Engaged to two hunks in a year?! Wow! No wonder the rest of us are facing a real dearth and wondering where all the good men are! K Talking about good men, this guy Shoaib is a “chupa rustum”. God! I wish he had brains that were as good as his face. But what a dodo he turned out to be! Peanut-sized brain K He says he married a girl over the phone, he says he fell in love with one girl and married another. He says he was tricked into marrying someone he had never seen. Even if all this were true, I wish he had come up with a story that would make him look smarter! I mean, seriously, what was he thinking! After all this rigmarole, this guy Shoiab has come out looking like a total idiot! But a lucky idiot I must say…He atleast gets to walk off with Sania in tow.
      I always thought Sania was a wicked smart girl. But going by what she is doing now, it looks like she is not-so-smart after all! If I were in her shoes, I would dump Shoaib right away. Not because he was married earlier, but because the guy is one good-looking fool! Getting married to an idiot is surely convenient (wink,wink), but this fellow just takes idiocy to a totally different level! He looks every bit like the love-lorn, moronic Bollywood hero from C-grade movies. If you ask me, this guy is gonna have a real tough time handling the feisty Miss Mirza, who btw, at present, is yet another lost-in-love woman who has chosen to turn a blind-eye to all the news about her fiancé. Good for her I guess. But someday, all this high-energy, lovey-dovey,madly-in-love phase is gonna end and Shoaib the lover-boy will go back to being Shoaib the idiot who marries people over the phone. But try telling that to a woman in love..Impossible to convince!
      Out of this entire fiasco, both Sania and Shoaib have gained enough footage. No publicity is bad publicity! As long as you are in the public eye, do not bother if the reasons are good or bad. Just bask in all the attention. But one person who they say got a raw deal out of this whole drama is Ayesha Siddiqui. The poor lady is now  being written about as an overweight, not-good-looking, affluent but unlucky ex-wife of Shoaib. But frankly, I think she is one helluva woman. Whatever her tricks were, they sure did work! And she sure is lucky too. She got rid of an idiot remember?  Not many people would agree with me, but I think Shoaib is lying. Something about his story is just not right.
    Through all this murk, one person who has maintained a dignified silence is Sania’s ex, the guy she got engaged to earlier. If he were to join the bandwagon too, I swear, this story would be too masala-dar for any Bollywood director to resist. I can almost see Madhur Bhandarkar scribbling away a script and running around for a heroine. He can call it "Dil toh baccha hain ji" ;) Yep! When you run out of titles, just steal it from the songs :-D Anyway, since the wedding will be all said and done in a week from now, let's just hope this is the last one for Shoaib.They say, marriage is a three ring circus : Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering Looks like poor Shoaib has already ended up with the third ring :-|
   So yeah, with that, I officially announce my resignation from the Shoaib Malik female fans club with immediate effect. Now don’t give me that “ what difference does a cricketer’s personal life make to you” blah blah lecture. I did not like the guy for his cricket. I liked him for his looks. Sure yeah, he still looks the same. It’s just that, each time I think of him now, I picture him sitting in a local Sialkot STD/ISD booth, smiling and saying “ Khabool hain” into  the phone. Not my picture of a hottie who deserves attention! ;)
    That reminds me of the other Shoaib. The Shoiab Akhtar! Oh man, seriously, there is SOMETHING about bad guys. They are absolute chick magnets. Ask Salman Khan and he will tell you what I mean. I just love this angry, aggressive, brooding Shoaib Akhtar :-D What a pleasure to watch him on the field, making faces and shouting out at all the boys…And all the bans and stuff make him all the more wicked ;) More of Shoaib Akhtar please! An angry guy is better than a stupid one ;-)



3 comments:

  1. bad guys are chick magnets.....thts really true....and i guess its alwaysd gonna remain true.....one combination that can neva go out of fashion....;)

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  2. Was going through your posts, good ones as always. But I am sorry to say, I don't agree to this

    "I can almost see Madhur Bhandarkar scribbling away a script and running around for a heroine. He can call it "Dil toh baccha hain ji" ;) "

    That movie title will only be apt for a movie that chronicles the rise and fall of our former perv gov, Dr. N.D.Tiwari :D

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